As the mother of a 10-year-old daughter, Elaine was constantly bombarded with scary warnings from parents of teenagers. From declaring that she would observe radical changes in her daughter to stating that all her parenting techniques would fail, Elaine had to hear every possible warning sign. When her daughter Samantha finally became a teenager, Elaine braced herself for the bad days.
However, much to her surprise, things did not as turn out as bad as she had expected. Elaine and Samantha developed a stronger mother-daughter bond and time just flew away. Samantha is an adult now and Elaine says that her experience taught her that it is actually possible to enjoy the teenage years of your kids. We provide few parenting techniques that will help you to enjoy the crucial phase of your child’s life.
Consider the parenting technique of treating your kid as your friend
Experts agree that for parenting teenagers effectively, it is crucial to consider them as your friends. While childhood was all about changing their diapers and fighting with food, teenage can be the time when smart parenting techniques can help you to bond with your kid better. Experts say that for good parenting; you can discuss everything from movies, friends to weather. Susan Kuczmarski, author of better parenting book such as ‘The Sacred Flight of the Teenager: A Parent’s Guide to Stepping Back and Letting Go’ has an interesting view in this regard.
According to Kuczmarski, for effective parenting, learn to enjoy the changes that your kid is undergoing. Opt for the parenting technique of modifying your views and opinions so that you do not fail to relate to your child. Kuczmarski says that to implement good parenting, accept the fact that your son or daughter has entered a new phase of life. This means that you need to let go of the expectation that your teenage children will always behave the way they used to behave earlier.
Do not get upset if your teenage child stops depending on you
Child development experts say that most teenagers love to assert their independence and as parents, we need to understand their point of view. Annie Fox, who has written ‘Middle School Confidential’ series, says, “Some parents mistakenly equate dependence with love. They feel that ‘if he doesn’t need me, he doesn’t love me.’ But do you really want to be cutting your kid’s sandwiches when he’s thirty?”
Experts say that positive parenting skills lie in making your teenager independent and self-sufficient. For example, you can implement the parenting technique of asking your teenager to wash the dishes or clean the garden. This parenting technique will ensure that your burden of housework is reduced, while your child feels happy for being considered as an independent person.
Parenting strategy to spend quality moments with your teenage children
Most teenagers are passionate about something or the other and it is difficult to ignore their enthusiasm about the things that they love. Fox says that for positive parenting, it is important to take a keen interest in their hobbies and passions. Your teenagers can teach you new things and this role of a teacher can boost their confidence largely.
For strengthening the relationship with your teenager, you can implement the parenting technique of sharing any activity that both of you love. Jamie Woolf, who has written the popular book ‘Mom-in-Chief: How Wisdom from the Workplace Can Save Your Family from Chaos’ says that recently she started a book club with her kids. Woolf reveals that this parenting technique has helped her to have a fun time with her kids and to connect with them better. She further states, “It’s allowed me to see a glimpse of middle school culture — crushes, cliques, and so on.”
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