Gabriella was getting late. Her mother is not well these days and she was desperate to visit her. Convincing her five-year-old daughter Claire to go with her took enormous effort, but she managed to succeed. Proud of her good parenting skills, she urged Claire to hurry up.
Ultimately, Gabriella lost her cool when Claire showed no effort to get ready even after twenty minutes had passed. Frowning in anger, she shouted, ‘You are either getting ready now or we are staying home’. To her horror, Claire replied coolly ‘Ok, we are staying then’! Gabriella immediately realized that she has made a crucial parenting mistake and wanted to know how she can avoid these mistakes in future.
Start acting and stop threatening
Experts agree that for good parenting; avoid threatening the kids all the time, while not taking any actions in reality. Once this happens few times, your kids will be convinced that no matter how they behave, you will not actually act. Bridget Barnes, who wrote effective parenting book such as ‘Common Sense Parenting for Toddlers and Preschoolers’ says, “Repeatedly saying ‘If you don’t stop throwing sand, I’m going to make you leave the sandbox’ won’t stop the bad behavior. What your child hears is ‘I can keep doing this a few more times before Mom makes me stop.’” Experts say that for good parenting, you can warn your kids and if they do not stop, opt for an immediate action such as time-out.
For good parenting, be on the same page with your partner
Experts opine that for disciplining children, it is crucial for both the partners to agree to the rules and stick to them. According to them, if the mom alone enforces all the rules and dad breaks them, it will not take long for the kids to label the mom as the ‘bad guy’. Agreeing with your partner regarding the rules and the consequences will prevent you feeling guilty all the time and help you to implement good parenting.
Nancy Schulman, who has written better parenting book such as ‘Practical Wisdom for Parents: Demystifying the Preschool Years’ has an interesting opinion to share in this regard. Schulman says, “If you and your husband prefer to use different punishments, that’s okay — just as long as there are consequences for the same actions”. Experts say that for good parenting, discuss about the rules and consequences with your spouse only when the kids are at school or out of home.
Implement good parenting by avoiding bribing
All those who are parenting children know how effective bribes can be. However, experts warn that regular bribing can challenge your goal of good parenting. Bonnie Maslin, parenting expert says, “instead of saying ‘If you’re good at Grandma’s today, I’ll buy you a toy,’ try ‘I’m really proud of you for sitting so nicely during dinner at Grandma’s.’” According to Maslin, for good parenting, you can even try acting a little disappointed. Of course, you might feel guilty about this little lie, but Muslin says that this parenting technique will help your kid to develop conscience.
Keep your cool for positive parenting
For good parenting, it is crucial to keep your cool and be patient. However, things may not work as you plan and in situations when you are unable to maintain your cool, give yourself a break. Schulman says that when you find yourself losing temper, consider the parenting advice of taking few deep breaths and counting to ten. For good parenting, you may even consider taking a time-out and moving to a different room.
Experts say that parenthood symbolizes a journey, both for the parent and the child. It is inevitable that you will make few mistakes during this journey. However, it is important that you learn from these mistakes and continue your journey with greater gusto.

